Not That Crazy

Yesterday at work we had an especially belligerent customer.  I found out later they call her the hot chocolate lady, after the only order she ever places.  She was muttering angrily under her breath as she came in, “Rediculous...I can’t believe it...”  When I asked her what was wrong, making conversation as I am wont to do when we are slow, you should have seen the hateful look she gave me.  It is my habit, especially in a retail setting, to turn the full force of my charm on people who do not respond sufficiently to the initial dosage.  Do you really think yourself capable of plumbing the depths of my resilience?  Please, you don't have it in you to more than scratch the surface.  Anything you care to dish out will be returned with the most tooth aching sugary sweetness, see if it isn't.  Bring it, your misery vs my hard won exuberance, we’ll see who breaks first.

Eyes contacting, my face aglow with a custom blend of joy and empathy, I gave her my best smile with her change.  Working retail in Texas, where social niceties are a sacred pact, I learned to make this face and mean it.  My happiness is highly contagious, but she was immune, replied with mockery, a sarcastic grimace thrown back like she was offended that I should presume to attempt cheering her.  She watched the kid making her drink like a hawk, hassled him about whether the spoon he used for separating the foam from the milk was clean enough.

I was bothered a little by the interaction.  When someone is an asshole for no reason, though, I am pretty good at saying to myself, “Wow, she must be in some serious pain for that kind of human contact to seem reasonable.”  Let’s be honest, it’s not like I haven't been in such pain myself.

The two managers on duty commenced discussing the woman as soon as she left.  (Within earshot of the other customers, who now know the employees occasionally engage in mean spirited gossip about one of their number.)

“She is insane.”

“Seriously.  Something is wrong with her.  She keeps applying here over and over, always asks me what my name is.  Right, like we want her working here.”

“But, I mean, I wonder what her problem is.”

“She’s a bitch, that’s her problem.”

“No, I mean, I wonder what her diagnosis is.  Y’know, like, what officially is wrong with her.”

“I bet she doesn’t have a name for it.  Like, she’s not schizo or multiple personality or whatever.  She doesn’t, y’know, seem insane enough to where she would really need drugs or something.  I mean, she’s not *that* crazy.”

Meanwhile a two time veteran of the loony bin listened from the register, trying to decide whether to be annoyed at their lack of professionalism or extremely amused by their ignorance.  Over the course of the conversation, I settled on the latter.  Ladies, you have no idea.  Nutcases lurk among you.

Comments

[yellojkt]

If you can't make fun of customers in ear shot of other customers, how are they going to know not to do that stuff themselves? You are doing the world a favor.

[dena]

I always feel badly for people like that woman. My husband frequents a little pub within walking distance of our home. There is a man that comes in rather often, and he always sits alone at a table, sipping his ice tea. He mutters to himself (and sometimes argues) the entire time, and several people make fun of him. It really saddens me, and while I don't try to infringe on the man's right to chat with himself, I do smile toward him. Whether he appreciates it or not, I do not know. But it does make me feel better to make the attempt. Is he crazy? Who really knows?

[Kimberly]

Ah, yes, the sacred social niceties of the Texan. As a native, I didn't know that there was any other way until I moved away. Many of my non-Texan friends are stunned by just how unfailingly polite, if not charming, I can be to even the most rude person with whom I come in contact.

How crazy does one have to be to need drugs? Oh, right, I know that one...

[Sarcasmom]

I work retail as well. I am guilty of dissecting customers after they leave. What I like are the names that get attached. Kije "the hot chocolate lady. I bet everyone knows who that is."

[Pearl]

Lurk? Naw, they're out and ubiquitous. ;-) Some people's oddities are just 9/10 buried.

Glad you gave her a top notch warm treatment.

[Julia]

maybe she has aspergers, they tend to lack tact in general. maybe she just is a very unhappy person and is crying out for help in a passive aggressive way. keep being cheerful, maybe you will break her yet.

[Steph.]

Ahhh...a fellow Texan, eh? Yes, I too subscribe to the "kill 'em with kindness" philosophy. I should blog about it sometime. I previously worked as a technical writer, writing software documentation with a lot of engineers. Invariably, you'd run across one or two with egos the size of California. Well, my kindness technique always managed to dismantle the ego enough to get the information I need, and not annoy the busy engineer in the process. I'm telling you, this nice thing WORKS! (grin)

[InterstellarLass]

Hey, my brand of crazy is appealing, right? I mean, other people are jealous of my crazy. I just know it.